One Year Ago

366 days ago: I had to say goodbye to some of the most amazing people I have ever met, teachers, peers, friends, and family. I remember that day distinctly. My room was completely packed up, except for one suit case of stuff that I would need for that week. My house looked empty, and sound seemed to bounce off the walls and pierce my very soul.  That morning, despite my hatred for horizontal stripes, I wore a dress with horizontal stripes across the top, just because my friends knew that I hated horizontal stripes. I cried all the way through school. After school was over, a bunch of us went into Helzer's office and opened the trap door that led to the tunnel thing under the school. I have to say, I was not very excited about crawling down there in a dress, but I did it anyway. As I bent down to climb the ladder, change fell out of my bra. You see Evan, Byron, Micah, and Elijah found it entertaining to throw change down my shirt. They had been doing it the entire year. I had bruises on my chest. They called it basketball, and since I was leaving, they felt the need to play as much basketball as possible. I started crying, emotions were flooding me. Byron asked me if I was okay, and I couldn't even answer him, I tried to, but it just came out as a whine-ish-yell-sob. I think I scared the poor kid. On our way back through the underground tunnel to Helzer's office, the skirt of my dress flew up, I could hear either Elijah, Micah, or Byron laughing behind me. I tried to fix it, but I couldn't reach the bottom of my skirt because of the stupid walls, and I was not about to ask whoever was behind me to fix it for me. Thankfully, I was wearing volleyball shorts, but still. I yelled back at them, "I swear if you are looking right now I am going to kick your butt once we get out of this stupid tunnel." I didn't hear another word, and no one spoke of it. After that, Sydni, Celie, Byron, Micah, and Elijah all came to my house to help us pack up the trailer. It was more than them helping us move, it was the last goodbye. That was a pretty special afternoon. Mom let me back up the beast for the first time. I almost ran over Elijah who was doing the back-up-wavy-thing behind me. I think I saw my grandma shed a tear, that woman will never admit it, but I swear I saw it. When Momma said that it was time for everyone to head out, I started crying more, and I hugged them all at least 3 times. After Momma and I dropped off Celie and Elijah, I started hysterically crying. My Momma and I talked the whole way back about how God has a plan, and it may not be what we want it to be and such.

365 days ago: We loaded up the last of the stuff into our trailer. As we finished cleaning the house, Mom and Dad went into town to sign the papers that official gave the Linds our house. We left town around noon. That was it. I cried all the way to North Platte. I cried the hardest after we drove through Roscoe, I turned my head to slowly see my best friend's house dissipate.

So today I cried. I cried for the 6 months of anguish that my very strong Daddy went through leading up to what no one would expect. I cried for the friends I had to leave behind. I cried for the brand new house that we had to leave behind. I cried for my grandparents that we had to leave behind. I cried for the amazing church congregation that we had to leave behind. I cried for the wonderful teachers, who were so influential in my life that we had to leave behind. Most importantly I cried in pure awe. I cried because I serve an amazing God who has my life planned out. He knew everything about me before I was even born. He is sovereign over all, and I strive to worship and serve him everyday. God's got a plan. It may not be what I have planned, but He is sovereign.