A Renewed Motivation

If you know me, you know that I am very systematic. When something needs to be done, it has to be done in a certain way in which it is organized and has rhyme and rhythm. I cannot stand it when tasks are done out of order or hap-hazardly. As I figured, my bible reading became like this. Systematic. I do my devotional purity book on the odd numbered days, and read from my bible on even numbered days. What I realized is that it became to systematic. It became something I thought I had to do, and it became less and less intimate with the Lord. I tried breaking my 'system', and tried to make it more about my devotion to Lord, but that made me even less motivated to read at all. I went an entire week without picking up my bible or devotion book. I broke down, and I absolutely lost it. I prayed to God and begged for forgiveness. How could I have been so selfish and so self-absorbed? I asked God to renew my motivation. A couple of days after that, I acquired a new accountability partner. I still did my reading and devotion, but the emotion was gone. Two weeks ago, at my Mansion Builders Bible Study, the lesson was out of 1 Peter 2. One of the topics was how devoted we were to the Lord. I was practically falling off of the edge of the couch listen to Mike teach. All of my confusions about my feelings and emotions where cleared up. I feel like I have a renewed sense of motivation. It is an amazing feeling to have a hunger for the word of God. I have never had this feeling before. In the lesson, Mike explained that it takes time for a Christian to develop a true hunger for the word. After about a year and a half of being a true Christian, I believe I have found that hunger. (I was raised Lutheran, my parents became Christians in 2003, and I have been raised in a true Christian environment since then. I acted like a Christian, I prayed the prayer, but it was all "Fire Insurance" as we like to call it. I became a true Christian in the summer before my freshman year.) Make a habit of reading your bible, even if you don't have that hunger yet.

Currently I am studying the book of Job. Job fascinates me. He went through so many trials and temptations, yet he still praised the Lord through it all. I strive for that attribute.

By the way, I am terrible at this whole accountability partner thing, they all seem to bail out on me. Hopefully this one is different!