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All of this talk about possible houses and pieces of property and rental houses has been driving me insane. I swear if I have to go to another house showing or sit in a real estate agent's office again, I am going to scream. We are talking glass-breaking, chill-giving, head voice scream. Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to live closer to school and church, but I dread the thought of moving again.

My parents bought this house shortly before I was born. It was our first house. At the time, it was in a convenient location because Momma was working in Beatrice as a pharmacist and Daddy was working in Millard as a Battalion Fire Chief and this house was almost directly in the middle. This house was originally a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house, and it is now a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. We have done so much to this house, and to this farm in general. As my parents pointed out, we remodeled the house to make it bigger as each child was born. Each time we remodeled, the house was updated more and more. What I love about this house is that it is updated, but it still has that old farm house feel. The floors creek and squeak, (especially in my room because I have the original wood flooring from when the house was built), the house makes random noises, and it just has that old farm house feel. These things used to be so annoying to me, but now I love them and I don't want to leave them. It was hard enough to leave the first time, and coming back has gotten me more attached to this farm. Everything from the gently rolling prairie grass hills to the old hay loft with holes in the floor. I know this is selfish of me, but I don't want to leave.

This house is practically already sold. We are under contract, and as soon as we find someplace to move, the buyers want to close on our house immediately. We have found multiple houses that could work for our family, but there is always something that goes wrong. There is a beautiful farm house that is 9 miles south of Syracuse (so roughly 11 miles directly east of our farm). It would work very nicely for our family except for one problem, one of the bedrooms (the bedroom that would be mine) doesn't have a window. Any regular family would not even consider this an issue, but Mr. Firefighter Gregory and Mrs. Paranoid Shanna are really worried about me not having a 2nd way to escape if the house was on fire. I love my parents, they are always thinking ahead, no matter how strange it seems currently.

My point is that every option we consider seems to be turned down. Sometimes I wonder if maybe it's God's Plan for us to stay here. But that's the thing, we don't know God's Plan. We can only hope that some day in heaven all will be revealed. My parents prayed long and hard about moving the family out to Ogallala, and it seemed like it was God's Plan. God wanted us out there for that short time for a reason, I'm not sure what that reason is, and I may never know, I can only pursue my walk by faith.